Who likes to confront someone you love and get into all of the drama of who is right, who is wrong and all the anger that follows. Who needs that? Is it even worth it? Confrontation does not have to be bad or scary. Assertive communication can actually be healthy and sharing your concerns can improve your relationships.
When you think of anger management or anger management classes, you probably don’t immediately think of learning new communication styles. How can communication possibly help with anger? How you communicate is very important in anger management and getting your point across succinctly, with respect for the other person as well as yourself is key in good relationships.
A lot of times people have told me in anger management classes that they feel taken advantage of and that tends to really fuel their anger. So it must be the other person’s fault right? They made you angry right? It’s not your responsibility that they made you angry!
Well, it is your responsibility if someone is making you angry. Speak up if someone is taking advantage of you and ask for what you need or what you don’t like. You don’t have to be demeaning or rude and I didn’t say confront someone with the same hostility. Instead stay respectful and polite and assertively express your feelings and let them know what they doing that is making you feel upset. Believe it or not, most people won’t know they are overstepping until they are told.
We incorporate assertive communication at angermanagementonline.com as an integral part of our anger management classes. We work with you on using “I” statements instead of “You” statements. At first, it will make you feel uncomfortable to learn this new way of communicating. With practice, that discomfort becomes easier to tolerate and communicating assertively will too.
I challenge you to start using “I” statements instead of “You” statements starting today. Today, start to take ownership of your communication, feelings and your anger. Start to let people know that “I” need something, “I” don’t like what you are doing, “I” feel taken advantage of… Practice this new language and if you need some anger management help, come over to angermanagementonline.com where like minded people are dedicated to learning these new anger management skills every day.
Take the challenge…”I” dare you.