Ruminating on the past for sure won’t change it. Problems or injustices that you experienced in the past are all part of who you are today and thinking about it constantly will take you to a very dark, sad place and eventually anger. You think and think about how unfairly you were treated in your childhood by your parents or kids in school. Maybe you were even bullied or forced to do things that you absolutely hated to do and now you can’t let it go.
The problem with holding onto the past negativity is you are not free to see and experience the present. You can’t enjoy what is in front of you if you are stuck in the past in your mind. Dwelling on the past makes it nearly impossible to focus on your goals and self improvement. In anger management, I get a lot of people who have had major injustices happen to them in life. We work to accept those injustices and move toward focusing more on goals and the present than the past negativity that is holding you back from enjoying your life.
Staying in the past doesn’t solve anything. Replaying the same old scripts over and over keeps you focused on the things you had no control over and certainly cannot change now. For many, I see that living in the past causes depression and sadness. Depression is anger and eventually you will live in a chronic state of anger.
At angermanagementonline.com, we work on shifting your thinking away from the past more on the present and future. We can’t take away those memories, but we work with you so that you can have your thoughts and how to make peace with the past. We work with you to give yourself permission to move forward and enjoy your life and get the most out of it.
Making peace with your past will make you stronger. It will take you out of the whirl wind of anger and negativity into your current life and toward positive solutions. Changing behavior that keeps you stuck in the past is a difficult task. You can’t change it, but you can choose to accept it.
Maybe you have caused an injustice to someone else by letting your anger fly or maybe you have ruined relationships because you couldn’t control your behavior. If you have made mistakes, you can’t go back and fix or erase them. You may be able to try and take steps to repair some of the damage you’ve caused, but it won’t make everything all better.
Maybe you can’t forgive yourself or others, but practicing forgiveness can help you to let go of the hurt. Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or sweeping things under the rug. Forgiveness is about letting go and accepting what happened knowing you can’t change it, but you can be better moving forward.
Don’t stay consumed with hurt and anger. Get involved in therapy or an anger management group like angermanagementonline.com where we work on accepting the past, think about it only to learn from it, and then move forward in life to enjoy the here and now.