You learned your anger style from other people. You may have learned it from one or both parents, siblings, any influential adult in your life and maybe even watching television. You may have learned it from the kids you were friends with in childhood. You learned how to handle your anger from what you saw and heard others do when they were angry.
You learned a major part of your anger style from the results you got when you used anger. You may have felt pleasure when you were angry. You may have felt powerful, maybe even a high. You recorded the high in your memory, in the pleasure center of the brain, and each time you used anger you etched it further into your memory. It feels good to be angry to some people. If they blow off steam, it gets the bad feelings out and there is a release or pleasure in that for some folks.
Most likely you did not suffer strong negative results in the beginning when you first starting using anger routinely in your behavior. You more than likely used anger to feel powerful and it worked! You didn’t lose anything, you didn’t go to jail, you didn’t lose family or friends and you didn’t get hurt. Because you may have used anger over and over and felt its pleasure more and more you developed an addiction to anger and now you use it to feel good.
You were not born angry. Your anger problem is a result of faulty learning patterns and then holding on to what you learned making anger a bad habit or addiction. You, as an adult, are responsible for your anger addiction just like an alcoholic is responsible to stop his drinking behavior.
Anger addiction is a tough behavior to kick on your own. I know most people think that it is easy to not act a certain way or to have a bad behavior, but that is so not true. When you rely on a certain behavior for years and it gets you high or it gets you what you want, it is very difficult to stopping using that behavior.
The problem with acting out angry behavior is it will lose its affect on you and those around you. You will start to lose loved ones, friends and even your freedom if you wind up in the legal system.
There is help available and it starts with you reaching out for help. At angermanagementonline.com, we accommodate your schedule with online classes. You don’t have to show up at any certain times, try to learn when you don’t feel like it, or leave home and sit with others listening to their stories. You can learn ways to handle your anger with diligence and professional guidance. Don’t wait any longer. The time is now, start today.